Relationship bond is when two people have connection based on kinship, marriage or common interest. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.
Having a strong passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain, having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner's situations and concerns.
A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps making a family together.
These are only a few ways to explore real intimacy. How do you create a loving connection in your relationship?
1. Take your partner's breath away. Do something amazingly thoughtful and out of the ordinary and try to incorporate an element of surprise to it. You can do something special on a regular basis: make his favorite meal once a week, a loving note tucked into his pocket, a playlist made up with his favorite songs. These thoughtful acts will embed you in his memory.
2. See your partner for who he or she really is and be willing to learn from each other. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve. The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.
3. Look closely at why a fight may begin. Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting and likely will fight far less.
4. Accept who you are. True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.
5. Expand your heart. One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you. It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.
6. Let go of expectations. You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else. Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.
7. Tell each other your main goal and see if you can find one way to support each other to reach it. It is clear that when we know someone has our back, we are more confidant and more adventurous. We achieve our goals more easily and are less derailed by disappointments.
8. Honor your connection. Maybe it's a special kind of kiss when you leave in the morning or a special 10-minute bonding time when you first come home. This is sacred time. No business agendas, problem solving or distractions in the form of small electric screens are allowed.
9. Be mindful of the fact that emotional injuries derail relationships. You can inflict great pain on your partner simply because you matter so much; you are the one he/she depends on. At a close moment, ask your lover if there are injuries that are unhealed, perhaps times when you missed their cues for support and connection. Try to help them with this hurt. It doesn’t just fade with time. Often just telling them that you can feel how they hurt and want to help them with it works wonders.
10. Learn what pleases your partner sexually. The best recipe for great sex is safe emotional connection and open communication. Make it clear that his pleasure is your pleasure, and you want to discover everything about what turns him on. He’ll be happy to have you experiment with him. Engaging in lots of eyes gazing, watching romantic movies together, holding hands and cuddling is a way to keep romance alive and is especially powerful when making love. Remember, criticism literally hurts and shuts down exploration and sexuality.
11. Invite your partner into more closeness once a day by playing a simple empathy game. Each person thinks of an event in their day. Then you take turns at reading each other’s face and trying to pinpoint whether you see one of the six basic emotions: joy, surprise, sadness, anger, embarrassment or some kind of fear. See if your guess is right. Learning to tune in matters!
12. Do something great for someone your partner loves. If you show kindness and love for someone he loves, you will earn major points. When you enter a relationship, you also enter a relationship with all his family and friends. Show him that the people who are important to him are important to you.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfect. Love that lasts is the result of partners embedding themselves in each other’s brains in a positive way. You can create a fulfilling, safe-haven relationship, restoring the romantic love bond, beginning now.
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