Goal setting your relationship

Goals are relationships necessity. When you consider what your relationship needs, consider the laws of gravity. An object that is set in motion will continue to move, unless something stands in its way. On the flip side, a motionless object will never move unless something acts upon it. Your relationship will remain inert unless you act on it and keep it in motion. And, just as day-to-day goals keep you moving from one task to the next, setting goals for your relationship will infuse your relationship with that vital momentum.

Once you have past that first stage of dating and falling in love you both start focusing on the goals you each have for the relationship, such as where you want it to lead and what your relationships beliefs are. One of the main reasons many partners break up is because they never shared their relationship goals with each other. Most people just let the relationship do its own work and flow naturally, and while that is okay in some cases, it is very important to keep in touch with what each of you is planning for the relationship.

What really are your goals for the relationship? Though you can never predict what will really happen in the future of the relationship, you do already have

an idea of what you wish to give and receive from this relationship. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are first before having this talk with your partner. Are you looking for a serious partner or just someone you can spend time with so you are not lonely? Would you like the relationship to eventually lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for you at this time? When you figure out exactly what your goals are in the relationship you will then need to learn why those goals are so important for you right now. You need to understand your reasons for your goals and make sure you are setting those goals for the right reasons.

Plan ways on how you can both accomplish each of your relationship goals and talk about which methods you both feel will work best. Goals can change over time too, which is exactly why you and your partner should touch base on each of your thoughts so you never reach a point where the relationship feels lost and confusing for one or both of you. When you and your partner work together to create goals that improve or maintain the health of your relationship, you also create an atmosphere of companionship. Relationship goals will help you and your partner remain focused whenever the relationship goes through the difficult transitions that all unions experience. These goals can also act as the antidote to the stagnation and lethargy that can creep into any marriage over time.

If there are differences in the goals you both have, you then need find a compromise you both feel is fair to the relationship. You must ensure that the individual and partners goals are in alignment. This alignment is critical for creating harmony and allowing you both to reach your dreams. Once that alignment is secure there is no limit to how much you can accomplish together Not having the same exact relationship goals does not mean that you are not meant to be together, but it does mean that more communication is necessary so you can always keep track of where your relationship is leading and if it is lacking anything that it needs. Though it is important to understand your partner's goals, it is more important to keep in touch what you really want and need from the relationship. Partner's can change and there is nothing you can do to change him or her unless they choose to, so the power you do have in holding on to the dreams you have for yourself and never lower your expectations in a relationship just because you want to stay with your partner. Neither of you should have to lower your expectation for the other; you should always work together in keeping the relationship on track. With direct communication and good goal setting, your relationship can continuously lead to stronger and more fulfilling stages that please you both. Create an arrangement that helps both of you stay accountable to the commitments you have made to each other. This is a sacred bond.

Working towards your relationship goals means working to become a better partner to your mate. Do not establish goals for your partner! Focus on establishing your own goals, your partner should focus on his/her goals, and the two of you can create joint goals (e.g., traveling more, spending more time socializing with other couples, sharing household tasks etc). Make sure that the goals both of you strive for make you feel good about yourselves. You can't achieve something that goes against your values. Sharing how your goals as partners can benefit others as well as yourselves is a powerful and bonding experience.

Establishing relationship goals does not have to be a complicated process. Make sure your goals are specific, attainable and realistic. As a matter of fact, the simpler and more straightforward the goal, the better. The biggest challenge you’ll face is remaining consistent in your efforts toward reaching your goals. Write down and review your goals, and if you're comfortable, post them somewhere where you can see them every day.

Remember that everything you do together has more than twice as much power as what you do alone. Creating goals as partners is not only healthy for your relationship, but should be fun as well. Be sure to replace your accomplished dreams and goals with new ones. It really a secret to happiness.